Lament of the Needless

Where is this solitude I seek
When worlds spin out of reach
And darkness fills an empty space
Full of whispers of an unknown speech

Where is this silence that I seek
When quiet drowns an early scream
And lifelessness is hopeless here
In the corner of a subtle dream

When do the answers march in time
To the questions in a beating drum
When the children all run and hide
Through the fog you'll see them come

Where is the home I wish to find
When nowhere is everywhere I'll be
And love is first but never blind
So it can't be there to me

Where do I look when it's all right here
But my eyes won't look inside
Of the hope I trust with everything
As everything always dies

While I biked to Yoga today, I realized that as much as I don't want to, I need to get out of this town. Actually I realized that a long time ago, but it was just really reiterated today. Last Friday I ran into my bane--though it turned out in the end that she was less my bane than I her savior. Somehow from this I need to learn to believe in myself as much as my family does. I feel like my not painting would injure her soul more than mine. And I think it might kill me. That would be the number one reason why I won't quit. Carol even knew.
So as I look for a job, maybe I should quit looking so far away from myself.
I'll keep looking that far.

5 Things In My Fridge1. milk2. Yugurt3. Kefir4. The best Hummus from Harmony--Red Pepper5. Lots of deliciously yummy fruits and veggies!5 Things In My Closet1. Clothes2. gig bag for Morgan3. amp and pedal4. purses5. shoes5 Things In My Purse1. pen2. lotion3. calling card4. some Euro cents (I know, still--I need to get out more)5. Twins ticket from *Fenway*5 Things In My Car1. Steering wheel2. a sign I stole in PA3. Road Atlas of the US4. seats5. seatbelts (which I use--every time)5 Things I Wish I Was Doing Right Now1. Not this2. talking to Val3. Being with Brian, here4. getting a call from Federated5. speaking Spanish5 Things I Like Most About My Bedroom1. I sleep there2. the TV shows me the Daily Show sometimes3. Our wedding pictures4. blue carpet. I like blue5. that the orange chair is gone because someone bought our green one so we moved the orange one to the living room and there is now more room in both rooms. I tag.... No one. this is sort of pointless and cruel. But I love who tagged me and also who tagged her, so I don't mind a bit!