damn the left

Don't worry all my democratic friends,, I 'm still liberal. I'm talking about my brain. I can't seem to stop the left side from taking over. But hell, I guess it's ok because I'm not done with finals and they all have to do w/ that side. And I'm sick, my mom says I have a VIRUS. Maybe it is a "Block-the-right-side-of-Laura's-brain-from-getting-any-thoughts-in" virus. Whatever, it sucks. I'm almost done w/ finals, and soon I'll be off to Argentina. I think my right brain will power itself right through on the way, and I will have no left brain left by the time I get there. That's OK, as long as I'm never alone,,,,, haha. Don't tell my mom or Bill I said that. They'd get scared. Anyway, I may not write at all until I get back. But who knows, sources say the internet is abundant and cheap down there. Not the internet, but access to it i mean. Whatever. I'll let you all know how cute the penguins are. have a good break! I will miss the winter :( But I"m sure it will still be here when I get back.

<> The best that I can

If anyone has read my blog, you may be interested in knowing the results of my struggle to NOT have a big vehicle in my garage (or yard, whatever the case may be) ((Which, by the way, has its own issues with me, but we're not getting into that today.)) Anyway, Bill asked for a more fuel efficient vehicle, and although it's not as much as I had wished, we're getting a four-door sedan instead of a Jeep Liberty. Which is good, don't get me wrong, the only thing is, it has to come from a Dodge dealership because they get good deals from them because they've always used them. I hate American cars... I know, I have one, but I wish I didn't and I can't wait till I can sell it and get a Honda (go Japan and most other countries who actually CARE about the environment and not just money!). Anyway, it is better than the Jeep, and who knows, maybe Bill will get another Brass Monkey to drive around.

Is it OK to feel bad?

OK, i got home today after my 10:00 class (because Jake and I don't have our 12:00 class, yay!) Anyway, Bill told me he felt GREAT and he was going to demand that UNASAT (his new job people) give him a more fuel efficient car. I know that this is because of me. I mean, not that he is going to demand it for me, but I have been talking about the environment and why I don't like SUV's and stuff. It was his decision and everything and I wasn't going to stop loving him if he drove the Jeep Liberty they were going to provide him with, but it's just that it's kind of against a lot that I believe in. But I am the one who's been talking about the environment and all that and how all we can do is the best that we know how. I feel so sucky sometimes because I know that I am part of what is destroying this earth and he didn't really understand because I really do try to protect it and waste as little as possible. It was like he thought I felt responsible for everything that is happening, and I don't, but I'm part of it. I think the part about doing the best that we know how is what got him thinking this morning. I'm really happy that he feels this way, but I don't know, I still feel bad for some reason. is that OK?

Strange things that come into my head while walking home from BSU

Have you ever been a friend to someone who's not a friend to you? It's interesting. Becuase you're their (yes I know that "someone" and "they" don't match, but I'm lazy and I don't care) friend, but it is hard to know if THEY know you're their friend and would really do things for them if they needed or asked. And sometimes you try to do stuff for them without them asking, but then you don't know if it was worth is because you don't see the results. It's sort of exhausting, really. Emotionally more than anything. You care so much and you hope they know that but you don't know it. And you also think they care too, but you certainly don't know it. And you want to keep trying to let them know that you're their friend and if they need anything that they can come to you, but maybe they don't want to come to you. Maybe they don't really want you as a friend anyway. But you don't know that. That's where it gets sticky and confusing. Strange: the things I think of walking home from the school.